The 2016 Cardinals Season – Every Game in Haiku!
SPRING TRAINING
Four words that gladden
the hearts of Cardinal Nation:
Pitchers and Catchers Report!
2/29/16 – Intrasquad Game
Grichuk! Grichuk! The
sound Randall’s two homers made
bouncing in bleachers
3/2/16 – Cards 13, FAU 6
Cards explode with 12-
run Eighth; Gomber gets good start
v. alma mater
breaks the tie; a good start for
the Springfield all star
3/4/16 – Astros 6, Cards 3
Astros jump all o’er
Garcia with two homers
in the first inning.
3/5/16 – Cards 3, Marlins 2
Florida sun shines,
Jupiter crowd cheers Seung Hwang
Oh’s perfect inning.
3/6/16 – Nats 5, Cards 2
2 hits for Grichuk,
and I’m liking his beefed up,
long haired swag this Spring.
3/7/16 – Cards 9, Mets 4
Waino’s debut stirs
suspense but no runs score. Five-run
fifth propels Cards’ win.
3/8/16 – Cards 5, Twins 3
Garcia at last!
Hitting homers this Spring ain’t
like smashing grapefruits.
3/9/16 – Marlins 5, Cards 3
No easy return
for Yadi. He makes play at
plate, but Fish win game
3/10/16 – Mets 7, Cards 2
Garcia looked great.
Gomber pitched better last week
against his college.
3/11/16 – Cards 4, Braves 3
Game winning hit by
Magneuris Sierra, whose
name eats haiku space.
3/12/16 – Cards 4, Astros 3
Waino gives up two
early runs, but Cards pounce on
error to win game.
3/12/16 – Cards 14, Mets 9
Four homers propel
Cards but errors let Mets stay
close, not close enough.
3/13/16 – Cards 4, Nats 4
Wacha gives up three
runs quick. Tie. Extra innings?
Nah, go surf instead.
3/14/16 – Twins 5, Cards 3
Loss looks half-full with
Leake striking out six in
four scoreless innings.
3/16/16 – Cards 8, Braves 8
Cards offense explodes
but Garcia and Bowman
let leads slip away
3/17/16 – Tigers 5, Cards 4
Hazelbaker’s big
homer isn’t enough. His
name fills haiku space.
3/18/16 – Tigers 2, Cards 0
Wainwright gives up two
runs. Tiger pitchers stump Cards
two days in a row.
3/19/16 – Red Sox 3, Cards 1
Old friend Joe Kelly
stumps Cards, Peguero homers,
Florida rain falls
3/20/16 – Marlins 5, Cards 2
Five scoreless innings
for Leake, then Siegrist lets
Marlins off the hook
3/21/16 – Red Sox 4, Cards 3
Red Sox win despite
a Hazelbaker homer,
great Grichuk defense
3/23/16 – Cards 4, Marlins 1
Losing streak of no
consequence ends with five shut-
out frames from Carlos
3/24/16 – Nationals 8, Cards 2
Scherzer, Wainwright duel
goes awry. Nats shell Adam.
Seth gives no relief.
3/25/16 – Cards 5, Mets 5
Grichuk’s homer sparks
ninth inning rally. Mets match.
No one loves a tie.
3/26/16 – Nationals 7, Cards 0
Five infield errors?!?
Who put Banana Boat sun
tan oil on the ball?
3/27/16 – Marlins 4, Cards 2
Garcia puts up
four scoreless innings and Pham
hits a two-run bam.
3/28/16 – Cards 3, Mets 1
Martinez pitched well
and Holliday homered. Wow,
it’s a rare Spring win!
3/29/16 – Rain Out
Folks expect sun in
Florida, but it does rain
most days, like today.
3/30/16 – Cards 3, Marlins 0
“Everything was on
point today,” said Wacha, who
threw five shutout frames.
3/31/16 – Cards 9, Yankees 1
Cards must have eaten
some Reggie Bars ere pelting
Yanks with four homers
REGULAR SEASON
4/3/16 – Pirates 4, Cards 1
Opening day loss.
Liriano strikes out ten.
Cards’ bats were frozen.
4/5/16 – Pirates 6, Cards 5
Diaz bobbled the
ball. Cards’ bullpen baffled Bucs
’til base hit broke through.
4/6/16 – Pirates 5, Cards 1
Hazelbaker goes
yard; Bowman’s sharp. Yet – pillaged,
plundered, swept by Bucs.
4/8/16 – Cards 7, Braves 4
First win of the year
comes with MLB record:
Three pinch hit homers
4/9/16 – Cards 12, Braves 2
Wong breaks his slump with
three hits and aggressive base
running as Cards romp
4/10/16 – Cards 12, Braves 7
Five-run ninth caps sweep
of Braves. Cards found their bats. Hope
Wainwright finds himself.
4/11/16 – Cards 10, Brewers 1
Brock’s first pitch ignites
Cards’ hustle. Clydesdales and hits
parade. Fans rejoice!
4/13/16 – Brewers 6, Cards 4
Moss ties game with pinch
hit blast, but Rosenthal gives
up two-run homer.
4/14/16 – Cards 7, Brewers 0
Garcia dazzles!
Complete game, one-hit shutout
with thirteen strike outs!
4/15/16 – Cards 14, Reds 3
Five Cardinals wearing
42 hit six homers.
Taxing day for Reds.
4/16/16 – Reds 9, Cards 8
Cardiac Cards come
close. Waino let the air out
of four-run cushion.
4/17/16 – Cards 4, Reds 3
When Yadi gets eighth
gold glove and day off, Fryer
comes through as hero
4/18/16 – Cubs 5, Cards 0
Cubs blank Cards. Lackey
dominates. Hate seeing their
gloating fans at Busch.
4/19/16 – Cubs 2, Cards 1
Like last night, Heyward’s
defense, pitcher who baffles
and hits stymies Cards
4/20/16 – Cards 5, Cubs 3
Grichuk’s leap robs Cubs
of homer. Cards hang on through
rain and avoid sweep.
4/22/16 – Padres 4, Cards 1
Cashner stumps Cards at
plate. Waino’s still not himself,
gets little support.
4/23/16 – Cards 11, Padres 2
Three-run homers from
Gyorko and Hazelbaker:
Cards offense rises!
4/24/16 – Cards 8, Padres 5
Cards take control in
8th. Gyorko homers again,
punishing old team.
4/25/16 – Dbacks 12, Cards 7
Dbacks score nine in
a 6th inning that felt straight
outta little league.
4/26/16 – Cards 8, Dbacks 2
Dbacks show no fangs.
Martinez, a snake charmer,
notches his fourth win.
4/27/16 – Cards 11, Dbacks 4
Diaz is dazzling!
Adam’s still shaky but hits
a three-run triple.
4/28/16 – Dbacks 3, Cards 0
De la Rosa blanks
the Cards, who have to settle
for a series split.
4/29/16 – Nats 5, Cards 4
Watching Leake sure is
draining. Adams’ homer helps
but Cards’ ship still sinks.
4/30/16 – Nats 6, Cards 1
Garcia settles
down after a rocky first,
but Cards can’t catch up.
5/1/16 – Nats 6, Cards 1
Martinez, battling
flu and allegations, gives
up back to back jacks.
5/2/16 – Cards 10, Phillies 3
Waino can give up
three runs per game if he keeps
replacing them. Deal?
5/3/16 – Phillies 1, Cards 0
Hometowner Howard’s
homer is enough. Wacha’s
great; Nola’s better.
5/4/16 – Cards 5, Phillies 4
As Madonna said,
“Holliday! Celebrate!” – it’s
a walk-off winner!
5/5/16 – Cards 4, Phillies 0
Garcia is back!
Piscotty’s two-run double,
diving catch seal win.
5/6/16 -Pirates 4, Cards 2
Kang debuts with two
homers. Martinez exits
early with fatigue.
5/7/16 – Cards 6, Pirates 4
Wainwright’s smooth after
a shaky first. Teams trade runs
’til Carp’s walk off blast.
5/8/16 – Pirates 10, Cards 5
Wacha starts well but
falters. Bucks batter Bowman.
Let’s blame the pink cleats
5/10/16 – Cards 8, Angels 1
Phew! Leake finally
gets his first win, backed by four
homers (two from Carp).
5/11/16 – Cards 5, Angels 2
Garcia gives up
two-run homer yet avoids
earned run. He’s that good!
5/12/16 – Cards 12, Angels 10
Cat runs across the
field. Many cross the plate – more
Cards than Angels. Sweep!
5/13/16 – Dodgers 8, Cards 4
So messy, like they
tried to eat batting helmet
nachos with no hands.
5/14/16 – Dodgers 5, Cards 3
Hazelbaker hits
homer; Kazmir can’t complete
game. It’s not enough.
5/15/16 – Cards 5, Dodgers 2
A close duel by Wood
and Leake, ’til Yadi’s pinch hit
double cues rally.
5/17/16 – Rockies 3, Cards 1
Garcia’s not quite
himself, and Bettis proves too
tough. Homecoming spoiled.
5/18/16 – Cards 2, Rockies 0
Waino’s swag is back.
Shutout. Holliday’s two-run
double proves enough.
5/19/16 – Cards 13, Rockies 7
Thirteen-run blitzkrieg
led by Carp doesn’t hide fact:
Wacha is struggling.
5/20/16 – Dbacks 11, Cards 7
Tejada pitched? Uh…
Clasp your Yadi gnome. Forget
game where you got it.
5/21/16 – Cards 6, Dbacks 2
Three homers support
a stellar Leake, but Rosey?
Uh, that boy ain’t right.
5/22/16 – Dbacks 7, Cards 2
Garcia implodes.
Moss homer is only bright
spot. Our pitching sucks.
5/23/16 – Cards 4, Cubs 3
Gatorade rains down
on Grichuk after his walk-
off blast. Cards beat Cubs!
5/24/16 – Cubs 12, Cards 3
Wacha gives up six
runs in the first. Our starters
don’t give us a chance.
5/25/16 – Cubs 9, Cards 8
Scored four runs off Jake!
A seesaw battle should be
fun, but this one hurt.
5/26/16 – Nats 2, Cards 1
Harper launches one
to the third deck. Leake’s strong start
isn’t supported.
5/27/16 – Cards 6, Nats 2
After Scherzer is
peeved by timeouts, Piscotty
hits his first grand slam!
5/28/16 – Cards 9, Nats 4
Waino doubles in
two runs. Cards’ bats make up for
homers he gave up.
5/29/16 – Nats 10, Cards 2
Wacha wasn’t bad.
Bullpen made him look fab, once
they gave up grand slam.
5/30/16 – Cards 6, Brewers 0
Can’t camouflage the
talent of the slugging Matts.
Carlos wins arms race.
5/31/16 – Cardinals 10, Brewers 3
Leake cruises. Carp gets
four hits for second straight day.
Fatherhood brought pep!
6/1/16 – Brewers 3, Cards 1
Davies allows three
hits. Cards can’t surmount Jaime’s
wobbly first inning.
6/3/16 – Giants 5, Cards 1
Tight game implodes in
ninth when Rosey walks three in
a row and all score.
6/4/16 – Cards 7, Giants 4
Down by four, Cards come
back. Four giant swings! Diaz
homers off foul pole.
6/5/16 – Cards 6, Giants 3
Cards eke out four runs
in 6th; at last, a series
win o’er a good team!
6/7/16 – Reds 7, Cards 6
Leake stakes Reds big lead
which they blow, but Votto’s walk-
off saves them in end
6/8/16 – Cards 12, Reds 7
With our sad pitching,
Moss knows he may need to hit
two homers per game.
6/9/16 – Cards 3, Reds 2
Waino settles down
after rocky first; Yadi’s
three hits power win.
6/10/16 – Cards 9, Pirates 3
Waino’s clutch pinch hit
double sparks a six-run twelfth
inning comeback win!
6/11/16 – Cards 5, Pirates 1
C Mart dazzles, throws
near-complete game. Holliday
hits a three-run jack.
6/12/16 – Cards 8, Pirates 3
Cards notch fifth win in
a row, sweep Bucs, powered by
Holliday’s three hits.
6/14/16 – Astros 5, Cards 2
Doug Fister outduels
Garcia, bats in two runs
to end Cards win streak.
6/15/16 – Astros 4, Cards 1
Bullpen squanders lead,
wastes seven scoreless innings
from Waino. ‘Stros sweep.
6/17/16 – Rangers 1, Cards 0
Wacha pitches great.
Sadly, Hamels pitches just
a tad bit better.
6/18/16 – Rangers 4, Cards 3
C-Mart’s masterful,
but bullpen allows late runs.
Rosey takes the loss.
6/19/16 – Rangers 5, Cards 4
Overturned call aids
an eighth inning rally as
Rangers sweep Cards. Sigh.
6/20/16 – Cubs 3, Cards 2
Peralta and Moss
homer, Jaime pitches well.
Cards win in Wrigley!
6/21/16 – Cubs 4, Cards 3
Waino struggles but
gets win, thanks to homers from
Carp and Holliday
6/22/16 – Cards 7, Cubs 2
Five runs in the fifth
propel Cards to victory,
sweeping baby bears!
6/24/16 – Mariners 4, Cards 3
Cards score three in eighth.
Lind hits three-run walk-off jack
off Rosey. Painful.
6/25/16 – Mariners 5, Cards 4
Leake gave up five quick
runs, must have felt as blue as
his throwback jersey.
6/26/16 – Cards 11, Mariners 6
Pham, Carp both homer
twice! Powerful Cards hit six
homers, avoid sweep.
6/27/16 – Royals 6, Cards 2
Cards’ bats go quiet
after Waino gives up six
quick runs to Royals.
6/28/16 – Cards 8, Royals 4
Seven Cards drove in
runs. We needed them all since
Wacha gave up four.
6/29/16 – Cards 3, Royals 2
Cards tie game in ninth
and tenth but can’t do it a
third time in the twelfth.
6/30/16 – Royals 4, Cards 2
Three errors and hot
Morales doom Cards as Royals
lock up series win.
7/1/16 – Cards 7, Brewers 1
Eight strong innings from
Jaime! Holliday bats in
three of seven runs.
7/2/16 – Cards 3, Brewers 0
Sharp Waino pitches
seven shutout innings, and
Oh gets his first save
7/3/16 – Cards 9, Brewers 8
Rain delays abound.
Oh almost blew lead after
Piscotty’s grand slam.
7/4/16 – Pirates 4, Cards 2
No fireworks in
Busch after Polanco’s two
homers dampen mood.
7/5/16 – Pirates 5, Cards 2
Ex-Cards Freese, Fryer
do the damage as the Bucs
continue to roll.
7/6/16 – Pirates 7, Cards 5
A four run lead is
squandered and Carpenter, our
lone all star, gets hurt
7/7/16 – Cards 5, Pirates 1
Cards avoid sweep with
Waino pitching fierce. Grichuk,
Piscotty go deep.
7/8/16 – Brewers 4, Cards 3
Villar’s walk-off hit
wins it; Wacha, Holliday,
Rosey exit hurt.
7/9/16 – Cards 8, Brewers 1
Martinez baffles
Brewers, strikes out eleven!
Cards plate five in ninth.
7/10/16 – Cards 5, Brewers 1
Leake strong-arms Brewers.
Adams and Grichuk go yard.
Cards cruise into break.
7/15/16 – Marlins 7, Cards 6
Six runs (four homers!)
ought to be enough but Cards’
bullpen was a sieve.
7/16/16 – Cards 5, Marlins 0
Sparked by reunion
of 2006 teammates,
Waino hurls shutout!
7/17/16 – Marlins 6, Cards 3
Back and forth battle.
Marlins just keep swimming and
hitting, take series.
7/18/16 – Cards 10, Padres 2
Power surge! Back-to-
back jacks from Grichuk, Gyorko.
Leake fans 11.
7/20/16 – Cards 4, Padres 2
After nosebleed and
giving up two-run homer,
Carlos bleeds no more.
7/20/16 – Cards 3, Padres 2
Gyorko homers twice,
dominates his old team. Cards
take double header!
7/21/16 – Cards 6, Padres 5
Holliday grazed: this
week’s second bloody nose. Sweep!
Diaz walk off hit!
7/22/16 – Cards 4, Dodgers 3
Bullpen excels and
Adams goes yard in 16th.
Style points for bat flip!
7/23/16 – Dodgers 7, Cardinals 2
Throwback jerseys had
no birds on bat, rendering
Cards’ bats powerless?
7/24/16 – Dodgers 9, Cards 6
AGon’s grand slam, and
five more runs: the horror of
Mike Mayers’ first start!
7/26/16 – Cards 3, Mets 2
Gyorko’s two-run shot
powers Cards to win first game
of doubleheader.
7/26/16 – Mets 3, Cards 1
As night falls, Colon
casts a big shadow o’er Cards,
who settle for split.
7/27/16 – Cards 5, Mets 4
Doubles in the ninth
from Yadi and Wong send Cards
on a happy flight!
7/28/16 – Cards 5, Marlins 4
Cards batter Jose
Fernandez. Old pal Diaz
homers against him.
7/29/16 – Cards 11, Marlins 6
Wong is homer shy
of cycle. Cards unravel
Urena, win big.
7/30/16 – Marlins 11, Cards 0
Mercy rule needed.
Fish get four off Jaime in
the first, keep swimming.
7/31/16 – Marlins 5, Cards 4
Shirtless Dietrich whoops
after walk off triple. Back
each other up, Cards!
8/2/16 – Reds 7, Cards 5
A second inning
proves too much for Oh, and Cards
squander four homers.
8/3/16 – Cards 5, Reds 4
Fours runs in the first,
then insurance homer from
Piscotty seals win
8/4/16 – Reds 7, Cards 0
Reds take series with
shutout. Cards fail to right the
ship after Leake start.
8/5/16 – Cards 1, Braves 0
Eleven strike outs
and the lone RBI: hot
night for Garcia!
8/6/16 – Braves 13, Cards 5
Martinez gives up
seven runs. Cards battle but
Braves bully Broxton.
8/7/16 – Braves 6, Cards 3
Waino rocked for six
quick runs. Cards drop series at
home to lowly Braves.
8/8/16 – Cards 5, Reds 4
Cardiac Cards! Down
4-0 with two outs win on
walk off hit by pitch!
8/9/16 – Reds 7, Cards 4
Bowman allows three
late runs. Reyes debuts, shines
but Cards can’t come back.
8/10/16 – Cards 3, Reds 2
Garcia pitches
masterfully; Peralta
gets 200th jack.
8/11/16 – Cubs 4, Cards 3
Ball four sure looked like
a strike. Walk off walk sinks Cards
in the 11th.
8/12/16 – Cubs 13, Cards 2
Cubs notch seven quick
runs off Waino. Cards pray for
rain, get no solace.
8/13/16 – Cards 8, Cubs 4
Didn’t make it to
Denny’s, but Grichuk still got
a birthday grand slam!
8/14/16 – Cards 6, Cubs 4
Bowman clears bases-
loaded-no-out jam, sparks jacks
from Piscotty, Moss!
8/16/16 – Cards 8, Astros 5
Gyorko’s three-run blast,
Reyes’ relief: Cards negate
Jaime’s dizzy start.
8/17/16 – Cards 8, Astros 2
Martinez flirts with
no-hitter til sixth; Cards’ bats
give ample support.
8/19/16 – Cards 4, Phillies 3
Gyorko’s two-run blast
ties game in ninth. Grichuk wins
it in eleventh!
8/20/16 – Phillies 4, Cards 2
Hellickson outduels
Weaver, but it’s still a strong
start for our rookie
8/21/16 – Cards 9, Phillies 0
On a wet day, Cards
rain down homers on Phils. Leake
throws well, bats two in.
8/23/16 – Mets 7, Cards 4
Mets pound Jaime. Niese
exits quick. Cards waste chances
to score off bullpen.
8/24/16 – Cards 8, Mets 1
Carp’s leadoff homer
sets the tone. CMart gives up
one run; Cards score eight.
8/25/16 – Mets 10, Cards 6
Cleat interference
should be a thing. Can’t just blame
ump. Waino got shelled.
8/26/16 – Cards 3, As 1
Gyorko’s two-run blast
is plenty, cuz Dream Weaver
gets us through the night.
8/27/16 – As 3, Cards 2
Despite quality
Reyes start, game is ugly
like the throwback socks
8/28/16 – As 7, Cards 4
Jaime gets clobbered.
Cards chip away but bullpen,
errors prove too much.
8/29/16 – Cards 6, Brewers 5
Grichuk comes through. Bull-
pen almost erased CMart’s
thirteen-strikeout-day!
8/30/16 – Cards 2, Brewers 1
Waino looks fierce on
birthday. Grichuk’s RBI
hit wins game in Tenth.
but gives up walk to pitcher,
which rarely ends well.
but Reds eke out win on walk-
off hit by Suarez
9/3/16 – Reds 9, Cards 1
A better day for
Jaime; a bad day for pen.
Jerome’s gotta go.
9/4/16 – Cards 5, Reds 2
Cards avoid sweep by
lowly Reds, thanks to homers
from Grichuk and Wong.
9/5/16 – Cards 12, Pirates 6
Cards’ barrage sinks the
Bucs. Waino’s not his best, but
compensates with bat.
9/6/16 – Cards 9, Pirates 7
Bowman squanders big
lead. Game saved by three jacks in
ninth! Crazy comeback!
9/7/16 – Pirates 4, Cards 3
Reyes strong after
weak Leake but gives up bomb to
Kang. Home run streak ends.
9/8/16 – Brewers 12, Cards 5
Matheny froze while
Jaime and Mayers floundered.
Let the bullpen work!
9/9/16 – Cards 4, Brewers 3
Two two-run homers
from Piscotty, Carp in the
fourth are just enough
9/10/16 – Cards 5, Brewers 1
Waino hangs tough, gets
win after Cards pound Brewers’
bullpen in the Eighth.
9/11/16 – Brewers 2, Cards 1
Cards can’t support sharp
Weaver, settle for split when
they needed to sweep
9/12/16 – Cubs 4, Cards 1
All we could cheer for:
Hazelbaker’s jack in ninth
spoiled Hendricks’ no-no.
9/13/16 – Cards 4, Cubs 2
Homers from Diaz
and Moss! Reyes ensures Cubs
won’t party at Busch!
9/14/16 – Cubs 7, Cards 0
Carlos is good, but
Lester is better. Cubs blank
Cards in finale.
9/15/16 – Giants 6, Cards 2
Cueto throws complete
game. Cards again present
themselves incomplete.
9/16/16 – Giants 8, Cards 2
Uhh… Giving up six
unearned runs is no way to
earn a wild card slot.
9/17/16 – Cards 3, Giants 2
Cards demonstrate some
playoff intensity! Wong,
Grichuk: clutch in ninth.
9/18/16 – Cards 3, Giants 0
A stellar Reyes
unspools seven shutout frames,
ensures series split.
9/19/16 – Cards 5, Rockies 3
CMart hits two-run
double. Siegrist terrifies
us, but Cards hold on!
9/20/16 – Cards 10, Rockies 5
Cards win fourth game in
a row, powered by Waino’s
four RBIs!
9/21/16 – Rockies 11, Cards 1
Weaver gives up six
quick runs, including grand slam.
Cards fail to answer.
9/23/16 – Cubs 5, Cards 0
Wong faceplants and we
all facepalm as sloppy first
inning undoes Cards.
9/24/16 – Cards 10, Cubs 4
Sparked by opposite
first inning from yesterday,
Cards offense breaks out!
9/25/16 – Cubs 3, Cards 1
Carlos pitches with
guts and heavy heart. Odd line-
up can’t crack Lester
9/26/16 – Reds 15, Cards 2
A new circle of
hell: watching this game and the
debate at same time
9/27/16 – Cards 12, Reds 5
Diaz says he will
play hard to honor Jose,
promptly hits grand slam!
9/28/16 – Reds 2, Cards 1
Cards squander scoring
chances. Ninth: Wong hits lead off
triple, stays at third.
9/29/16 – Cards 4, Reds 3
Reyes rocks! For once,
bad call helps Cards – Yadi’s walk-
off (ground rule) double!
9/30/16 – Cards 7, Pirates 0
C-Mart shuts out Bucs.
Moss breaks slump. Holliday’s home
run brings tears, hope, joy!
10/1/16 – Cards 4, Pirates 3
Gyorko’s jack wins it!
Holliday and bullpen show
great tenacity.
10/2/16 – Cards 10, Pirates 4
Sweeps by and of Bucs
bookend the season. Cards scored
ten runs, played with heart.
Cardinal Girl 