The 2016 Cardinals Season – Every Game in Haiku!

SPRING TRAINING

Four words that gladden
the hearts of Cardinal Nation:
Pitchers and Catchers Report!

2/29/16 – Intrasquad Game

Grichuk! Grichuk! The
sound Randall’s two homers made
bouncing in bleachers

3/2/16 – Cards 13, FAU 6

Cards explode with 12-
run Eighth; Gomber gets good start
v. alma mater

3/3/16 – Cards 4, Marlins 3
Charlie Tilson’s hit
breaks the tie; a good start for
the Springfield all star

3/4/16 – Astros 6, Cards 3

Astros jump all o’er
Garcia with two homers
in the first inning.

3/5/16 – Cards 3, Marlins 2

Florida sun shines,
Jupiter crowd cheers Seung Hwang
Oh’s perfect inning.

3/6/16 – Nats 5, Cards 2

2 hits for Grichuk,
and I’m liking his beefed up,
long haired swag this Spring.

3/7/16 – Cards 9, Mets 4

Waino’s debut stirs
suspense but no runs score. Five-run
fifth propels Cards’ win.

3/8/16 – Cards 5, Twins 3

Garcia at last!
Hitting homers this Spring ain’t
like smashing grapefruits.

3/9/16 – Marlins 5, Cards 3

No easy return
for Yadi. He makes play at
plate, but Fish win game

3/10/16 – Mets 7, Cards 2

Garcia looked great.
Gomber pitched better last week
against his college.

3/11/16 – Cards 4, Braves 3

Game winning hit by
Magneuris Sierra, whose
name eats haiku space.

3/12/16 – Cards 4, Astros 3

Waino gives up two
early runs, but Cards pounce on
error to win game.

3/12/16 – Cards 14, Mets 9

Four homers propel
Cards but errors let Mets stay
close, not close enough.

3/13/16 – Cards 4, Nats 4

Wacha gives up three
runs quick. Tie. Extra innings?
Nah, go surf instead.

3/14/16 – Twins 5, Cards 3

Loss looks half-full with
Leake striking out six in
four scoreless innings.

3/16/16 – Cards 8, Braves 8

Cards offense explodes
but Garcia and Bowman
let leads slip away

3/17/16 – Tigers 5, Cards 4

Hazelbaker’s big
homer isn’t enough. His
name fills haiku space.

3/18/16 – Tigers 2, Cards 0

Wainwright gives up two
runs. Tiger pitchers stump Cards
two days in a row.

3/19/16 – Red Sox 3, Cards 1

Old friend Joe Kelly
stumps Cards, Peguero homers,
Florida rain falls

3/20/16 – Marlins 5, Cards 2

Five scoreless innings
for Leake, then Siegrist lets
Marlins off the hook

3/21/16 – Red Sox 4, Cards 3

Red Sox win despite
a Hazelbaker homer,
great Grichuk defense

3/23/16 – Cards 4, Marlins 1

Losing streak of no
consequence ends with five shut-
out frames from Carlos

3/24/16 – Nationals 8, Cards 2

Scherzer, Wainwright duel
goes awry. Nats shell Adam.
Seth gives no relief.

3/25/16 – Cards 5, Mets 5

Grichuk’s homer sparks
ninth inning rally. Mets match.
No one loves a tie.

3/26/16 – Nationals 7, Cards 0

Five infield errors?!?
Who put Banana Boat sun
tan oil on the ball?

3/27/16 – Marlins 4, Cards 2

Garcia puts up
four scoreless innings and Pham
hits a two-run bam.

3/28/16 – Cards 3, Mets 1

Martinez pitched well
and Holliday homered. Wow,
it’s a rare Spring win!

3/29/16 – Rain Out

Folks expect sun in
Florida, but it does rain
most days, like today.

3/30/16 – Cards 3, Marlins 0

“Everything was on
point today,” said Wacha, who
threw five shutout frames.

3/31/16 – Cards 9, Yankees 1

Cards must have eaten
some Reggie Bars ere pelting
Yanks with four homers

REGULAR SEASON

4/3/16 – Pirates 4, Cards 1

Opening day loss.
Liriano strikes out ten.
Cards’ bats were frozen.

4/5/16 – Pirates 6, Cards 5

Diaz bobbled the
ball. Cards’ bullpen baffled Bucs
’til base hit broke through.

4/6/16 – Pirates 5, Cards 1

Hazelbaker goes
yard; Bowman’s sharp. Yet – pillaged,
plundered, swept by Bucs.

4/8/16 – Cards 7, Braves 4

First win of the year
comes with MLB record:
Three pinch hit homers

4/9/16 – Cards 12, Braves 2

Wong breaks his slump with
three hits and aggressive base
running as Cards romp

4/10/16 – Cards 12, Braves 7

Five-run ninth caps sweep
of Braves. Cards found their bats. Hope
Wainwright finds himself.

4/11/16 – Cards 10, Brewers 1

Brock’s first pitch ignites
Cards’ hustle. Clydesdales and hits
parade. Fans rejoice!

4/13/16 – Brewers 6, Cards 4

Moss ties game with pinch
hit blast, but Rosenthal gives
up two-run homer.

4/14/16 – Cards 7, Brewers 0

Garcia dazzles!
Complete game, one-hit shutout
with thirteen strike outs!

4/15/16 – Cards 14, Reds 3

Five Cardinals wearing
42 hit six homers.
Taxing day for Reds.

4/16/16 – Reds 9, Cards 8

Cardiac Cards come
close. Waino let the air out
of four-run cushion.

4/17/16 – Cards 4, Reds 3

When Yadi gets eighth
gold glove and day off, Fryer
comes through as hero

4/18/16 – Cubs 5, Cards 0

Cubs blank Cards. Lackey
dominates. Hate seeing their
gloating fans at Busch.

4/19/16 – Cubs 2, Cards 1

Like last night, Heyward’s
defense, pitcher who baffles
and hits stymies Cards

4/20/16 – Cards 5, Cubs 3

Grichuk’s leap robs Cubs
of homer. Cards hang on through
rain and avoid sweep.

4/22/16 – Padres 4, Cards 1

Cashner stumps Cards at
plate. Waino’s still not himself,
gets little support.

4/23/16 – Cards 11, Padres 2

Three-run homers from
Gyorko and Hazelbaker:
Cards offense rises!

4/24/16 – Cards 8, Padres 5

Cards take control in
8th. Gyorko homers again,
punishing old team.

4/25/16 – Dbacks 12, Cards 7

Dbacks score nine in
a 6th inning that felt straight
outta little league.

4/26/16 – Cards 8, Dbacks 2

Dbacks show no fangs.
Martinez, a snake charmer,
notches his fourth win.

4/27/16 – Cards 11, Dbacks 4

Diaz is dazzling!
Adam’s still shaky but hits
a three-run triple.

4/28/16 – Dbacks 3, Cards 0

De la Rosa blanks
the Cards, who have to settle
for a series split.

4/29/16 – Nats 5, Cards 4

Watching Leake sure is
draining. Adams’ homer helps
but Cards’ ship still sinks.

4/30/16 – Nats 6, Cards 1

Garcia settles
down after a rocky first,
but Cards can’t catch up.

5/1/16 – Nats 6, Cards 1

Martinez, battling
flu and allegations, gives
up back to back jacks.

5/2/16 – Cards 10, Phillies 3

Waino can give up
three runs per game if he keeps
replacing them. Deal?

5/3/16 – Phillies 1, Cards 0

Hometowner Howard’s
homer is enough. Wacha’s
great; Nola’s better.

5/4/16 – Cards 5, Phillies 4

As Madonna said,
“Holliday! Celebrate!” – it’s
a walk-off winner!

5/5/16 – Cards 4, Phillies 0

Garcia is back!
Piscotty’s two-run double,
diving catch seal win.

5/6/16 -Pirates 4, Cards 2

Kang debuts with two
homers. Martinez exits
early with fatigue.

5/7/16 – Cards 6, Pirates 4

Wainwright’s smooth after
a shaky first. Teams trade runs
’til Carp’s walk off blast.

5/8/16 – Pirates 10, Cards 5

Wacha starts well but
falters. Bucks batter Bowman.
Let’s blame the pink cleats

5/10/16 – Cards 8, Angels 1

Phew! Leake finally
gets his first win, backed by four
homers (two from Carp).

5/11/16 – Cards 5, Angels 2

Garcia gives up
two-run homer yet avoids
earned run. He’s that good!

5/12/16 – Cards 12, Angels 10

Cat runs across the
field. Many cross the plate – more
Cards than Angels. Sweep!

5/13/16 – Dodgers 8, Cards 4

So messy, like they
tried to eat batting helmet
nachos with no hands.

5/14/16 – Dodgers 5, Cards 3

Hazelbaker hits
homer; Kazmir can’t complete
game. It’s not enough.

5/15/16 – Cards 5, Dodgers 2

A close duel by Wood
and Leake, ’til Yadi’s pinch hit
double cues rally.

5/17/16 – Rockies 3, Cards 1

Garcia’s not quite
himself, and Bettis proves too
tough. Homecoming spoiled.

5/18/16 – Cards 2, Rockies 0

Waino’s swag is back.
Shutout. Holliday’s two-run
double proves enough.

5/19/16 – Cards 13, Rockies 7

Thirteen-run blitzkrieg
led by Carp doesn’t hide fact:
Wacha is struggling.

5/20/16 – Dbacks 11, Cards 7

Tejada pitched? Uh…
Clasp your Yadi gnome. Forget
game where you got it.

5/21/16 – Cards 6, Dbacks 2

Three homers support
a stellar Leake, but Rosey?
Uh, that boy ain’t right.

5/22/16 – Dbacks 7, Cards 2

Garcia implodes.
Moss homer is only bright
spot. Our pitching sucks.

5/23/16 – Cards 4, Cubs 3

Gatorade rains down
on Grichuk after his walk-
off blast. Cards beat Cubs!

5/24/16 – Cubs 12, Cards 3

Wacha gives up six
runs in the first. Our starters
don’t give us a chance.

5/25/16 – Cubs 9, Cards 8

Scored four runs off Jake!
A seesaw battle should be
fun, but this one hurt.

5/26/16 – Nats 2, Cards 1

Harper launches one
to the third deck. Leake’s strong start
isn’t supported.

5/27/16 – Cards 6, Nats 2

After Scherzer is
peeved by timeouts, Piscotty
hits his first grand slam!

5/28/16 – Cards 9, Nats 4

Waino doubles in
two runs. Cards’ bats make up for
homers he gave up.

5/29/16 – Nats 10, Cards 2

Wacha wasn’t bad.
Bullpen made him look fab, once
they gave up grand slam.

5/30/16 – Cards 6, Brewers 0

Can’t camouflage the
talent of the slugging Matts.
Carlos wins arms race.

5/31/16 – Cardinals 10, Brewers 3

Leake cruises. Carp gets
four hits for second straight day.
Fatherhood brought pep!

6/1/16 – Brewers 3, Cards 1

Davies allows three
hits. Cards can’t surmount Jaime’s
wobbly first inning.

6/3/16 – Giants 5, Cards 1

Tight game implodes in
ninth when Rosey walks three in
a row and all score.

6/4/16 – Cards 7, Giants 4

Down by four, Cards come
back. Four giant swings! Diaz
homers off foul pole.

6/5/16 – Cards 6, Giants 3

Cards eke out four runs
in 6th; at last, a series
win o’er a good team!

6/7/16 – Reds 7, Cards 6

Leake stakes Reds big lead
which they blow, but Votto’s walk-
off saves them in end

6/8/16 – Cards 12, Reds 7

With our sad pitching,
Moss knows he may need to hit
two homers per game.

6/9/16 – Cards 3, Reds 2

Waino settles down
after rocky first; Yadi’s
three hits power win.

6/10/16 – Cards 9, Pirates 3

Waino’s clutch pinch hit
double sparks a six-run twelfth
inning comeback win!

6/11/16 – Cards 5, Pirates 1

C Mart dazzles, throws
near-complete game. Holliday
hits a three-run jack.

6/12/16 – Cards 8, Pirates 3

Cards notch fifth win in
a row, sweep Bucs, powered by
Holliday’s three hits.

6/14/16 – Astros 5, Cards 2

Doug Fister outduels
Garcia, bats in two runs
to end Cards win streak.

6/15/16 – Astros 4, Cards 1

Bullpen squanders lead,
wastes seven scoreless innings
from Waino. ‘Stros sweep.

6/17/16 – Rangers 1, Cards 0

Wacha pitches great.
Sadly, Hamels pitches just
a tad bit better.

6/18/16 – Rangers 4, Cards 3

C-Mart’s masterful,
but bullpen allows late runs.
Rosey takes the loss.

6/19/16 – Rangers 5, Cards 4

Overturned call aids
an eighth inning rally as
Rangers sweep Cards. Sigh.

6/20/16 – Cubs 3, Cards 2

Peralta and Moss
homer, Jaime pitches well.
Cards win in Wrigley!

6/21/16 – Cubs 4, Cards 3

Waino struggles but
gets win, thanks to homers from
Carp and Holliday

6/22/16 – Cards 7, Cubs 2

Five runs in the fifth
propel Cards to victory,
sweeping baby bears!

6/24/16 – Mariners 4, Cards 3

Cards score three in eighth.
Lind hits three-run walk-off jack
off Rosey. Painful.

6/25/16 – Mariners 5, Cards 4

Leake gave up five quick
runs, must have felt as blue as
his throwback jersey.

6/26/16 – Cards 11, Mariners 6

Pham, Carp both homer
twice! Powerful Cards hit six
homers, avoid sweep.

6/27/16 – Royals 6, Cards 2

Cards’ bats go quiet
after Waino gives up six
quick runs to Royals.

6/28/16 – Cards 8, Royals 4

Seven Cards drove in
runs. We needed them all since
Wacha gave up four.

6/29/16 – Cards 3, Royals 2

Cards tie game in ninth
and tenth but can’t do it a
third time in the twelfth.

6/30/16 – Royals 4, Cards 2

Three errors and hot
Morales doom Cards as Royals
lock up series win.

7/1/16 – Cards 7, Brewers 1

Eight strong innings from
Jaime! Holliday bats in
three of seven runs.

7/2/16 – Cards 3, Brewers 0

Sharp Waino pitches
seven shutout innings, and
Oh gets his first save

7/3/16 – Cards 9, Brewers 8

Rain delays abound.
Oh almost blew lead after
Piscotty’s grand slam.

7/4/16 – Pirates 4, Cards 2

No fireworks in
Busch after Polanco’s two
homers dampen mood.

7/5/16 – Pirates 5, Cards 2

Ex-Cards Freese, Fryer
do the damage as the Bucs
continue to roll.

7/6/16 – Pirates 7, Cards 5

A four run lead is
squandered and Carpenter, our
lone all star, gets hurt

7/7/16 – Cards 5, Pirates 1

Cards avoid sweep with
Waino pitching fierce. Grichuk,
Piscotty go deep.

7/8/16 – Brewers 4, Cards 3

Villar’s walk-off hit
wins it; Wacha, Holliday,
Rosey exit hurt.

7/9/16 – Cards 8, Brewers 1

Martinez baffles
Brewers, strikes out eleven!
Cards plate five in ninth.

7/10/16 – Cards 5, Brewers 1

Leake strong-arms Brewers.
Adams and Grichuk go yard.
Cards cruise into break.

7/15/16 – Marlins 7, Cards 6

Six runs (four homers!)
ought to be enough but Cards’
bullpen was a sieve.

7/16/16 – Cards 5, Marlins 0

Sparked by reunion
of 2006 teammates,
Waino hurls shutout!

7/17/16 – Marlins 6, Cards 3

Back and forth battle.
Marlins just keep swimming and
hitting, take series.

7/18/16 – Cards 10, Padres 2

Power surge! Back-to-
back jacks from Grichuk, Gyorko.
Leake fans 11.

7/20/16 – Cards 4, Padres 2

After nosebleed and
giving up two-run homer,
Carlos bleeds no more.

7/20/16 – Cards 3, Padres 2

Gyorko homers twice,
dominates his old team. Cards
take double header!

7/21/16 – Cards 6, Padres 5

Holliday grazed: this
week’s second bloody nose. Sweep!
Diaz walk off hit!

7/22/16 – Cards 4, Dodgers 3

Bullpen excels and
Adams goes yard in 16th.
Style points for bat flip!

7/23/16 – Dodgers 7, Cardinals 2

Throwback jerseys had
no birds on bat, rendering
Cards’ bats powerless?

7/24/16 – Dodgers 9, Cards 6

AGon’s grand slam, and
five more runs: the horror of
Mike Mayers’ first start!

7/26/16 – Cards 3, Mets 2

Gyorko’s two-run shot
powers Cards to win first game
of doubleheader.

7/26/16 – Mets 3, Cards 1

As night falls, Colon
casts a big shadow o’er Cards,
who settle for split.

7/27/16 – Cards 5, Mets 4

Doubles in the ninth
from Yadi and Wong send Cards
on a happy flight!

7/28/16 – Cards 5, Marlins 4

Cards batter Jose
Fernandez. Old pal Diaz
homers against him.

7/29/16 – Cards 11, Marlins 6

Wong is homer shy
of cycle. Cards unravel
Urena, win big.

7/30/16 – Marlins 11, Cards 0

Mercy rule needed.
Fish get four off Jaime in
the first, keep swimming.

7/31/16 – Marlins 5, Cards 4

Shirtless Dietrich whoops
after walk off triple. Back
each other up, Cards!

8/2/16 – Reds 7, Cards 5

A second inning
proves too much for Oh, and Cards
squander four homers.

8/3/16 – Cards 5, Reds 4

Fours runs in the first,
then insurance homer from
Piscotty seals win

8/4/16 – Reds 7, Cards 0

Reds take series with
shutout. Cards fail to right the
ship after Leake start.

8/5/16 – Cards 1, Braves 0

Eleven strike outs
and the lone RBI: hot
night for Garcia!

8/6/16 – Braves 13, Cards 5

Martinez gives up
seven runs. Cards battle but
Braves bully Broxton.

8/7/16 – Braves 6, Cards 3

Waino rocked for six
quick runs. Cards drop series at
home to lowly Braves.

8/8/16 – Cards 5, Reds 4

Cardiac Cards! Down
4-0 with two outs win on
walk off hit by pitch!

8/9/16 – Reds 7, Cards 4

Bowman allows three
late runs. Reyes debuts, shines
but Cards can’t come back.

8/10/16 – Cards 3, Reds 2

Garcia pitches
masterfully; Peralta
gets 200th jack.

8/11/16 – Cubs 4, Cards 3

Ball four sure looked like
a strike. Walk off walk sinks Cards
in the 11th.

8/12/16 – Cubs 13, Cards 2

Cubs notch seven quick
runs off Waino. Cards pray for
rain, get no solace.

8/13/16 – Cards 8, Cubs 4

Didn’t make it to
Denny’s, but Grichuk still got
a birthday grand slam!

8/14/16 – Cards 6, Cubs 4

Bowman clears bases-
loaded-no-out jam, sparks jacks
from Piscotty, Moss!

8/16/16 – Cards 8, Astros 5

Gyorko’s three-run blast,
Reyes’ relief: Cards negate
Jaime’s dizzy start.

8/17/16 – Cards 8, Astros 2

Martinez flirts with
no-hitter til sixth; Cards’ bats
give ample support.

8/19/16 – Cards 4, Phillies 3

Gyorko’s two-run blast
ties game in ninth. Grichuk wins
it in eleventh!

8/20/16 – Phillies 4, Cards 2

Hellickson outduels
Weaver, but it’s still a strong
start for our rookie

8/21/16 – Cards 9, Phillies 0

On a wet day, Cards
rain down homers on Phils. Leake
throws well, bats two in.

8/23/16 – Mets 7, Cards 4

Mets pound Jaime. Niese
exits quick. Cards waste chances
to score off bullpen.

8/24/16 – Cards 8, Mets 1

Carp’s leadoff homer
sets the tone. CMart gives up
one run; Cards score eight.

8/25/16 – Mets 10, Cards 6

Cleat interference
should be a thing. Can’t just blame
ump. Waino got shelled.

8/26/16 – Cards 3, As 1

Gyorko’s two-run blast
is plenty, cuz Dream Weaver
gets us through the night.

8/27/16 – As 3, Cards 2

Despite quality
Reyes start, game is ugly
like the throwback socks

8/28/16 – As 7, Cards 4

Jaime gets clobbered.
Cards chip away but bullpen,
errors prove too much.

8/29/16 – Cards 6, Brewers 5

Grichuk comes through. Bull-
pen almost erased CMart’s
thirteen-strikeout-day!

8/30/16 – Cards 2, Brewers 1

Waino looks fierce on
birthday. Grichuk’s RBI
hit wins game in Tenth.

8/31/16 – Brewers 3, Cards 1
Weaver strikes out ten
but gives up walk to pitcher,
which rarely ends well.
9/2/16 – Reds 3, Cards 2
Strong start from Reyes,
but Reds eke out win on walk-
off hit by Suarez

 

9/3/16 – Reds 9, Cards 1

A better day for
Jaime; a bad day for pen.
Jerome’s gotta go.

9/4/16 – Cards 5, Reds 2

Cards avoid sweep by
lowly Reds, thanks to homers
from Grichuk and Wong.

9/5/16 – Cards 12, Pirates 6

Cards’ barrage sinks the
Bucs. Waino’s not his best, but
compensates with bat.

9/6/16 – Cards 9, Pirates 7

Bowman squanders big
lead. Game saved by three jacks in
ninth! Crazy comeback!

9/7/16 – Pirates 4, Cards 3

Reyes strong after
weak Leake but gives up bomb to
Kang. Home run streak ends.

9/8/16 – Brewers 12, Cards 5

Matheny froze while
Jaime and Mayers floundered.
Let the bullpen work!

9/9/16 – Cards 4, Brewers 3

Two two-run homers
from Piscotty, Carp in the
fourth are just enough

9/10/16 – Cards 5, Brewers 1

Waino hangs tough, gets
win after Cards pound Brewers’
bullpen in the Eighth.

9/11/16 – Brewers 2, Cards 1

Cards can’t support sharp
Weaver, settle for split when
they needed to sweep

9/12/16 – Cubs 4, Cards 1

All we could cheer for:
Hazelbaker’s jack in ninth
spoiled Hendricks’ no-no.

9/13/16 – Cards 4, Cubs 2

Homers from Diaz
and Moss! Reyes ensures Cubs
won’t party at Busch!

9/14/16 – Cubs 7, Cards 0

Carlos is good, but
Lester is better. Cubs blank
Cards in finale.

9/15/16 – Giants 6, Cards 2

Cueto throws complete
game. Cards again present
themselves incomplete.

9/16/16 – Giants 8, Cards 2

Uhh… Giving up six
unearned runs is no way to
earn a wild card slot.

9/17/16 – Cards 3, Giants 2

Cards demonstrate some
playoff intensity! Wong,
Grichuk: clutch in ninth.

9/18/16 – Cards 3, Giants 0

A stellar Reyes
unspools seven shutout frames,
ensures series split.

9/19/16 – Cards 5, Rockies 3

CMart hits two-run
double. Siegrist terrifies
us, but Cards hold on!

9/20/16 – Cards 10, Rockies 5

Cards win fourth game in
a row, powered by Waino’s
four RBIs!

9/21/16 – Rockies 11, Cards 1

Weaver gives up six
quick runs, including grand slam.
Cards fail to answer.

9/23/16 – Cubs 5, Cards 0

Wong faceplants and we
all facepalm as sloppy first
inning undoes Cards.

9/24/16 – Cards 10, Cubs 4

Sparked by opposite
first inning from yesterday,
Cards offense breaks out!

9/25/16 – Cubs 3, Cards 1

Carlos pitches with
guts and heavy heart. Odd line-
up can’t crack Lester

9/26/16 – Reds 15, Cards 2

A new circle of
hell: watching this game and the
debate at same time

9/27/16 – Cards 12, Reds 5

Diaz says he will
play hard to honor Jose,
promptly hits grand slam!

9/28/16 – Reds 2, Cards 1

Cards squander scoring
chances. Ninth: Wong hits lead off
triple, stays at third.

9/29/16 – Cards 4, Reds 3

Reyes rocks! For once,
bad call helps Cards – Yadi’s walk-
off (ground rule) double!

9/30/16 – Cards 7, Pirates 0

C-Mart shuts out Bucs.
Moss breaks slump. Holliday’s home
run brings tears, hope, joy!

10/1/16 – Cards 4, Pirates 3

Gyorko’s jack wins it!
Holliday and bullpen show
great tenacity.

10/2/16 – Cards 10, Pirates 4

Sweeps by and of Bucs
bookend the season. Cards scored
ten runs, played with heart.